Live/Love/Laugh/Cry/Whatever

Love is one of the greatest issues of my life at the moment..Im the sort of girl that falls in love at first sight! This to me is not the greatest way to be as it seems the quickest road to heartbreak..Iv had my heart broken once and i hope it never happens again..To me heartbreak feels like a slow and painful death! The feeling you get when you imagine the one you love with someone else is unbearable, its like evil butterflys in your stomach!
Heartbreak for me was the worst experience of my life, and im still hurting! Recently i split up with my first love, my boyfriend of a year and a half! I was convinced he was the one, and he treated me like a princess! Sometimes though, the nicer people are to you the more you take them for granted and that is the worst thing i have ever done! I took my boyfriend for granted and always thought about the advantages of single life! I messed him around and split up with him. It was only after we split i realised how much he meant to me! But by then it was far too late! When we were together i was his world, but now he doesnt have the time of day for me! I tried to get him back but it was definately too little too late! However i found a new boyfriend, at the moment he is whats keeping me sane I dont love him yet, but i think given time i will fall for him! T

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Life for me right now is okayy! I have friends, but then they are not the greatest! One is pregnant at the moment and im sure she just uses me for somewhere to stay when shes stuck! We get along fine, but then when she finds something else better to do than hang out with me shes gone faster than you can say "best friends"! My other best mate is a liar! She lies to all of us and takes us for fools! She thinks we dont know when she lies, but really we're so used to it, that it doesnt bother us anymore! Its as if its compulsive she cant tell the truth, ever! We think she likes the attention, and we're right, she lives for it! I wish i could help her because she cant live a lie, but i dont feel its my place! Also the more time goes on, the further she drifts away! Shes been with her boyfriend six months and is already moving in with him, she's been pregnant twice and is considering starting a family! At 16 i find this ridiculous, but i never tell her! The last two of our group are most probably the nicest! One of them Sarah* used to live with me, we are unbelievably close! We have never fallen out once and no matter what the situation or where she is she'll always help me! At the moment she lives in England and i miss her more everyday! After she left i felt i was losing my friends one by one! Izzy*, the final member of the gang is the youngest! I dont see her that often but we have always remained very close! She brings out the child in me and when we're together i feel that i can finally be a teenager and do normal things! She has a way of taking my mind off everything!
Well thats my friends! We're some bunch and we all have our imperfections! Although no matter what i still love them more than anything in the world!

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Well....Im ** aka Susan Myars, you know? The one from Desperate Housewives?! Shes ridiculously clumsy and her love life has more twists and turns than you average rollercoaster! Well thats me Im 16 years old and have had so many dramas in my life that i could easily make movies as long and as tedious as the Lord of The Rings Trilogy! Im what most would class, a worrier! I let every single tiny problem build up inside of me until they becomes huge issues! Thats why i decided to do this, its a healthy way to get things out in the open without having to worry about the people i love judging me! Sometimes i feel like im a 40 year old trapped in a 16 year olds body! If i was truely myself at all times i would feel like none of my friends were on the same wavelength as me! I live in a pretty small town, where everyone knows everything about everyone and everyone just pretty much pretends to like each other! Its pleasant enough, but without the friends i have, i dont think i would have been able to last this long here! My life revolves round my family, my friends, music, alcohol and literature! Literature and music are my greatest passions, without these everythin would be dull! Thats pretty much all there is to me, nothing special!

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Well basically i have decided to use this blog as a diary! A place to note my emotions and darkest secrets anonymously! Thought it would be rather fun as i'm an adolescent, i mean at which point in your life would it be better to write a diary =D

Over and Out For now, But i have so much more to say

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